Today

Today I got to see a side of Jonge that I haven't seen before.

His story-telling side.

He has been telling stories to his daddy and mommy for quite sometime.

Pake hears the stories when they take walks through the neighborhood.

Somehow, he hadn't seen fit to tell me a story. Until today.

Today he took a page from a magazine. It was an advertisement for flooring, I believe.

In the picture there was a large dog and a young girl.

This story took nearly 30 minutes to tell.

It involved signs, words, full sentences and drama.

Sometimes he would refer to the page, using his index finger to point for emphasis.

Sometimes he would throw his head back and hold both arms above his head.

I LOVED it!

If I'm any good at interpreting, I'd say the dog was in BIG trouble.

Little People

Yesterday, Jonge sat for quite sometime after his nap playing with the Fisher Price Little People that survived his mother's and uncle's childhood.

Happily he pushed the Little People in cars, flew them in the helicopter and sat them in chairs.

I don't think we had a full set of anything survive, but have enough assorted pieces to make up a rather interesting neighborhood.

I'm amazed by Jonge's long attention span. His mother did not have that. Oldest Son played in much the same way as Jonge does.

Today THGGM, Oldest Son and Jonge went out for breakfast together. I hear they had a wonderful time together. He seems so old at almost 22 months.

I'm constantly looking for interesting toys that fit Jonge's interests. Those vintage Fisher Price People are amazing.

So, tonight I am perusing Ebay hoping to find additional 'family' members.

I've no intention to bid on anything (yet), just trying to see how much things are going for.

It's amazing what things will stir up a memories.

Someone is selling the four fence pieces from the Fisher Price Farm.

I threw ours away. I stepped on it ONE too many times. It's a pain right up there with migraines and giving birth. You never forget.

What I'm Reading

Well, I am about to spend $10 to put more of my books on http://www.librarything.com/ It seems the right thing to do to keep track of them all. I did very well getting rid of books before we moved, and I can see that I could still stand to get rid of a few more.

I gave a few small bookcases to Daughter, and two large ones to Oldest Son. The old house had two built-in bookcases, so that space is gone too. That meant I had to scale down. I'm also planning to label and store the extensive collection of Home Companion and Somerset Studio and it's spin off magazines in my art room. I do not need to SEE them.

So, while I wasn't feeling well (i am coming out of the fog today) I've been reading. One book that I enjoy reading again and again is "Laura Ingalls Wilder - Little House in the Ozarks" by Stephen Hines, which consists of Laura's writings for local farm journals. Why I enjoy this book so much is sort of weird, as there is no 'farm girl' at all in me, aside from my desire to have a cow someday.

I'm also reading Dr. Paul Brand's book "The Forever Feast". Just after I posted the picture of Daughter's little grape arbor I picked up this book, and he began talking about the vine and the branches. I love it when things work out like that.

And, I've pulled out my "MaryJane's Stitching Room" book again. Although, the only stitching I've done lately has been repair to my fall coat. I get inspired and sigh a lot when I don't feel well. But, I've done almost nothing.

My box of Christmas books was inadvertently brought down to the basement. T ever loving HGGM carried it back upstairs for me. So, I've read "The Bird's Christmas Carol" and a few others.

I've read a few reviews of Frank Schaeffer's book "Crazy for God". I believe I've read all of the works of his parents, his sister Susan and even a few of his. So, I think I will want to read this. It came out on Thursday. If I get it soon I will be sure to post a review. Paraphrasing one commenter I came across - "...his parents named him 'Frank', not 'Circumspect'."

Clothed, and In Our Right Minds

Son-in-law, Me, Daughter-in-law.

Youngest Son, Jonge, THGGM, Oldest Son.

Daughter and Famke.

Um.

The Fisher Price Little People at least got the message about wearing primary colors.

Tah-Dah!

My New Fireplace Screen

Fall Picture Attempt II

This was the plan.

Come for breakfast.

Take Fall Family Picture.

It was rainy and windy.

Everyone was supposed to wear a primary color.

Youngest Son bought a new blue/gray argyle sweater.

Everyone else (of the original three/four i started taking a fall picture of 25/23 years ago) wore black.

Here, the men folk are arguing over which one of them is the tallest.

Anyway.

Since it was raining I got this brilliant idea (i get those) to just gather in front of the fireplace.

Not thinking, that with all nine of us in front of it, the fireplace does not show.

At all.

Pssst. Am I the Only One Who Cannot Figure Out This Stuff?

Yes. I'm still sick. Just thought I'd let you know. I bark like a performing seal. All that is missing is the brightly color ball to balance on my nose. I DO have a brightly colored nose, if that counts.

When my dad brought my mom over today he handed me an envelope. I still have several envelopes I've been handed to go through. Behind I am in envelope attending.

This one was marked URGENT or some other such word that made my stomach lurch.

Have I mentioned lately that second only to moving, I HATE figuring out insurances and prescription stuff for my parents? Have I? I certainly believe that I have.

The URGENT envelope told me that my parents prescription coverage is going to go up in every way possible. They are presently in the 'gap' where they are both required to pay full price for their medications. Even that gap will be widening next year. Yet, they will be paying more for less.

It used to be so easy. They had very good insurance from my dad's former employer. The prescription coverage was great. It always covered everything. They paid a handsome premium, but it was worth it.

Then that insurer in a fit of what can only be described as utter madness DROPPED the prescription coverage.

My life since those insurance people dropped the prescription coverage has dropped drastically in quality. I spend much time searching out better and more affordable programs for my parents.

Did anyone ever stop to consider that the people whose lives they are messing around with are old? On fixed incomes? Unable to figure out the strange and tangled mess that insuring the elderly has become?

Under their first health insurance, the one that still had prescription coverage, I could solve all of their paper work problems with one simple email. Everything was on-line and simple for ME to understand. My parents understand nothing about computers. My dad is thrilled when I play a foreign language for him, or show him my blog in Spanish (i have to show it to him in spanish, so he can't read it. pictures are not translated. funny, isn't it?) or when I play an old Amos and Andy show for him. But, to have him order drugs on line - he would not be able to do it. My mother can no longer find her way out of my bathroom, so, I truly doubt anyone would expect her to figure this mess out.

So, who gets to?

Oh, Dear "Powers That Be", it falls to my parent's uneducated child (me) to figure this out. She who would rather be doing a thousand other equally distasteful things or even tasteful things, but finds herself AGAIN, needing to maneuver the horrible mess that health insurance in America has come to.

"Powers That Be" please note that in the past three years I have spent more time on this than I have on anything else in my life.

I want a permanent solution (not the kind that will curl my hair, although, this one does do that...yes...it does) that will give my parents, parents who have always been wise and discerning in EVERYTHING they do to be cared for in a way that brings honor and respect to them.

They have fantastic doctors. But, the help that they need is being blocked at every turn by this mess that you, "Powers That Be", have created.

I cannot figure out why the richest nation in the world cannot solve this. It is an appalling situation.

I would devote all the rest of the years of my life to searching out what is best for my parents, but then YOU HAVE TO STOP CHANGING THE RULES. Will this be the FORTH November in a row that I have had to find another way to get them the things that they NEED?

I am sick and tired and depressed.

Something has GOT to change. This is INSANE.

I cannot do it anymore, because I do know the definition of insanity. Doing the same thing in the same way every time and expecting a different result.

Soon, there will need to be a law placed in effect similar to the law in my state that allows a mother to drop off her newborn baby at a police or fire station with no questions asked. This law will need to cover the other end of the age spectrum.

And, I will end with this wonderful word from Calvin's dad of Calvin and Hobbes fame:

Slippinrippindangfangrottenzargbargadingdong!

Two Months from Today - CHRISTMAS!

Have you read "The Birds' Christmas Carol"?

Such a charming little book.

You will wish that you knew Carol Bird. She dies, just so you know, and aren't left feeling depressed upon having read it.

Truth be told, had she lived, she would be dead now anyway, just by virtue of her age.

That ought to cheer you.

Anyway, it is only two months until Christmas.

I'm aching to get my art room set up and ready for cutting, gluing and the making of things nobody but me would ever want.

I'm also looking for more hardcover books like this. Mine are old and decrepit, which is just how I like them.

There is a new paperback copy on my bookshelf in the basement, for reading.

These two will be purely decorative.

And, keeping with tradition, I am sick. It has gone from a cold to a full-fledged cough which scares babies and small children and keeps the grown man up at night saying things like 'can i get you anything?', 'are you sure you are okay?' and 'what WAS that?'.

Ahhh..,

fast approaches the holiday season.

A Different Kind of Wine

Daughter and Son-in-law have a small grape arbor in their backyard.

It smells WONDERFUL.

When I took Charley out this morning, I grabbed my camera.

The "I AM the vine, you are the branches" passage takes on a much deeper meaning when I can actually see it all up close.

And, as Jonge will tell you, the grapes are NUMMY!

So much to ponder...

She With the Cold

Yes. Still. It feels like I am walking in a fog.

That did not stop me from enjoying a fun day of play with the grandchildren.

Famke is really growing!

And, she loves playing peek-a-boo with Jonge.

He is very sweet with her.

Today he put a pink crayon in her hand to help her color-color.

To him, color-coloring is one of life's greatest pleasures and he wants to share it with her.

Jonge occasionally likes to have a bottle. And, when he does, he wants it warmed.

So, I set the timer. Then, we count down, starting at ten.

He gets a few of the numbers. Mostly ten, nine, eight, four and two.

And, then it beeps.

Today while I was giving Famke her bottle, Jonge was playing with one of his adored Bob the Builder toys.

This one has numbers that one pushes, and Bob says the number.

I saw him start with the number ten.

Then, I heard nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one...

The next thing I heard was Jonge saying, "BEEP!"

Random Whining

It's just a cold, I tell myself.

But, it's MY cold, I am sure given to me to remind me that I should treat those with colds around me in a much kinder manner.

Those darling children that I had the pleasure of playing with today could not have been sweeter.

Right up until the clock read 4:00.

What is it with children and that time of day?

Famke spit up, so I removed her from her happy time of swinging.

Jonge pushed the empty swing too hard and it hit him in the forehead.

While I cleaned up Famke, Jonge at dog food.

Jonge insists that Charley's food is bucky, but he eats it every chance he gets.

Thankfully, I did not have to cook when I got home. I had put two roasts in the crock pot yesterday.

Why?

Oldest Son had helped his father move a lot of heavy furniture over the weekend. So, I made a lovely dinner of roast, potatoes, carrots, etc. as a sort of thank-you dinner.

I asked THGGM to tell him about it.

He forgot.

So, THGGM, Youngest Son, Daughter, Son-in-law, Jonge and I feasted on the roast yesterday.

There was still quite a bit left, and Oldest Son just began working second shift tonight. It was nice only having to reheat it.

Oh, well.

I spent a major portion of Friday and Saturday unloading ALL of my books onto the shelves in the basement. This bending and lifting of books has worn me out. I cannot complain about it to THGGM because he would be fine having just one book. He likes to remind me that there are these funny buildings all over town called libraries, and that I could rather simply frequent those.

Subsequently, I find myself reminding him that if I read a book and I like it, I want to own it so I can refer back to it at my leisure. That would be if I ever had any leisure.

That reminds me, THGGM had a leisure suit once. It was yellow.

Only a tiny bit of my weekend did I use to thrift shop. I spent about 10 minutes in the unfriendly one. I found a cute little Oshgosh outfit for Famke for $1.49, two books for Jonge, and two books for me. Oh, and a 49 cent deck of phonics cards.

Tonight I collapsed in front of the TV and watched Antiques Roadshow.

My throat is still sore, my nose is stuffy and I am in a whiny mood.

(My eyelids itch.)

Famke

Somebody loves her swing!

Annual Fall Family Pictures

It's really hard to gather together a family of nine people to take a lovely posed picture with colorful fall leaves in the background.

It's also difficult to get everyone looking at the same camera at the same time.

But, as you can see here, it CAN be done!

Let me introduce you to my family:

In the front row we have 'Lift his leg Charley', Daughter, Jonge, Famke and Son-in-law.

In the back row we have Lily, Daughter-in-law, Oldest Son, THGGM, me and Youngest Son.

Oh, Really? And You Teach?

Today was NOT a good day with my mom. Some of my theories about what might help her were tried and found wanting.

I allowed that to put me into a rotten mood, wanting to only watch TV. Even the calming voice of Mr. Rogers failed to sooth.

While Daughter nursed Famke, THGGM took Jonge outside for a walk.

I watched the news.

There was an interesting story telling how in the past high schools typically taught Spanish or French as a foreign language but today the language of choice tends to be Mandarin Chinese.

The teacher, from an area public schools, had this to say:

"There ain't no country in modern history..."

Excuse me?

And we wonder what is wrong with our schools.

I am shocked and appalled, I tell you.

Shocked and appalled.

Ald Beppe

Okay. Once, a long time ago, someone asked what Old Beppe looked like. This is Ald Beppe.

I truly feel like 'Ald' Beppe today.

Jonge is still absolutely enamored with Ald Beppe. All I have to do is put something on my head, and he instantly relates to me in a TOTALLY different manner.

He becomes all sweet and cuddly, and WHATEVER Ald Beppe requests, he will do. Even remembering former requests of Ald Beppe's.

If I say that Ald Beppe's lips hurt, he covers my face in kisses.

Now, if only this worked on Pake...

Give Me a "P", Give Me an "O", Give Me another "O"

Give me another "P"!

What does it mean?

I am a P O O P cheerleader!

Even those who have held onto it for several days come clean at Beppe's Home For Reluctant Poopers.

10 - 20 - 30 Virus

I found this at Mel's blog at www.unretouchedphoto.com I always do every thing Mel tells me to. Mel discovered it at Mary DeMuth's blog www.relevantblog.blogspot.com

QUICK! What were you doing 10 - 20 - 30 years ago?

TEN YEARS AGO - I was living in the city with THGGM and our three teenagers 13, 15, and 16. Youngest Son was happily attending middle school where he was involved in all sorts of athletic pursuits. Oldest Son was being unschooled, Daughter was being homeschooled. They both had jobs. I remember exactly what I did at that time. I drove. I drove and I drove and I drove and I swore that if the opportunity ever arose I would not have a car and I would never drive. All three kids were involved in community theater. Wednesday was THGGM's day off and for the most part, we escaped from reality and he drove ME interesting places - or to our bi-weekly counceling appointments. We lived directly nextdoor to THGGM's mother and brother. This, my friends, was not a 'good thing'.

TWENTY YEARS AGO - I was living in a different house in the city with THGGM, a first grader and two pre-schoolers. THGGM and I were overly involved in everything. We were still running on the premise that if you weren't insanely busy, you could not possibly be serving God. We were insanely busy. It would be a few years before we held still long enough to be able to hear the 'still small voice' over the 'storm' of activity. Our family spent a conciderable amount of time at beaches, parks, museums and the zoo. I'm thankful that we realized our children needed space, as we packed them tightly into a tiny tiny bedroom. Bunk beds and a pull out mattress, we told ourselves it was 'cozy'. It was in this same bedroom that THGGM's brother died 10 days ago.

THIRTY YEARS AGO - Oh! I was SO happy. Although, you could never tell that by looking at me. But, I was! THGGM and I were engaged! We'd only been dating for four years, so it was about time, although, we were only nineteen years old. THGGM was attending college. I was living at home and working a 2nd shift job that I loved, balancing nightly check runs from several different banks. I could run a Mohawk data entry system, an IBM 129, a paper tape machine, a ten key adding machine and a check sorter. I pretty much spent my nights jumping from one machine to the next. I loved the people I worked with. Yet, I remember hating that they listened to the most horrible country music station. I learned to love the smell of orange pipe tobacco which my boss smoked when things were going well. Forever I will associate the smell of cigeratte smoke with the meaning that 'things are not going well' because he smoked like a chimney then. The women I worked with were all moms who worked part-time. I remember they were called 'the old ladies', although I do remember each one of them turning thirty! Oh, how perspectives change.

Funday Monday

This picture is dark and blurry due to a migraine that attached itself to my head at 3:30 this afternoon.

Jonge, Famke and my parents were here. But Daughter and THGGM returned shortly after I was hit with it, so I managed.

So, before the last bit of my memories of today disappear into pieces of fitful dreams, I must record a few things.

I bought one more 25 cent thing at the thrift store which I failed to note in the post below. It was a plastic sandwich bag containing two Fisher Price Little People, a FP chair, a small doll and a pink barrette. Thinking that these were things that Famke may enjoy someday, I put them into the toy drawer.

Jonge discovered the bag and played with the toys for a short time. Then, he brought me the barrette, which I had not even noticed was in the bag. I put it in Famke's hair (of course, this reminded me that Famke's sweet fair-haired mother didn't have enough hair until she was three to support a barrette, and once she had the hair - refused - to wear them). Anyway, Famke looked smashing in the pink barrette. But, Jonge requested it back.

I gave it to him. He insisted that I put it in his hair. INSISTED. His exact words 'mine please beppe pink hat'. All while tapping the top of his head.

We argued for a while about how it was not a hat, but a barrette. I explained that I had never seen a boy wear a barrette before. Daddy doesn't, Pake doesn't, Pa doesn't. He really can give me a look that says 'you idiot'. He used the exact words 'mine please beppe pink hat', but emphasized patting his head, which as any 'Signing Time' watcher KNOWS means hat. So, I put the pink barrette in his hair. He smiled a fabulously endearing smile, while saying 'mine pink hat'.

This was at, oh, about 10 this morning.

Jonge ate lunch while wearing 'mine pink hat'.

He took a two and one half hour nap while wearing 'mine pink hat'.

He happily showed his mommy 'mine pink hat'.

He ate dinner with 'mine pink hat' perched upon his cute little brown-haired head.

Pake read him books with 'mine pink hat' directly under his wary eyes. Pake removed 'mine pink hat'. Lower lip quivering from Jonge and a stern rebuke from yours truly and Pake returned 'mine pink hat' to it's proper resting place.

Jonge left tonight at 8:00 still wearing 'mine pink hat' in his hair. Right smack-dab in the center of his head. Not even Pake's refusal to walk him down to see the 'bookball' players with that thing in his hair would persuade him to remove 'mine pink hat'.

Also tonight, I got a phone call from my mom. She had been here for most of the day, so I thought that maybe she had forgotten something here (oh, wait. she has forgotten just about everything.) Anyway...

She called to tell me that they were back from their trip to Wisconsin. They had a WONDERFUL time. Although, she told me that my aunt was taking care of someone's baby, and she never could figure out whose baby it was. But, she went on about what an adorable little girl she got to see while she was there.

I did not correct her. I did not tell her that she was at my house all day. I did not tell her that the adorable baby she got to see was Famke. Famke, the baby who was actually screaming into the phone the entire time I was talking to her. She never made the connection. Just told me how sorry she was that I didn't go with them.

If my head did not hurt so much already, I might cry. But, crying never makes me feel better. Because I do not cry tears. The tears just back-up into my head and make it all hurt even worse.

So, I choose to laugh. It hurts less.

Oh. And Famke threw-up on me twice today. Her one bottle of formula a day isn't sitting so well on her tiny tummy. It didn't sit so well on me, either. It sort of slithered down my neck...

Which reminds me. Jonge fed the cat salami today. Barb swallowed it whole and threw it up under the kitchen table during lunch.

I'd forgotten about that until just now.

Oh, goody.

The $&%^# Wallpaper

I did manage to fit in some thrift/antique shopping over the weekend. I hardly spent any money at all. Some of my finds were fabulous, some were just things I thought looked interesting, but were not all that great of buys.



The flowers on the table are Daughters. Son-in-law sent them to her for her birthday. They spent the week-end in Illinois, so I got to enjoy the flowers all weekend. They are beautiful, and smell lovely!

I was sure I had a copy of "The Yellow Wall-paper" but since I did not find it when we moved, I thought I'd better pick up this one. It was only a dollar, but being a Dover Thrift to begin with it was only $1.50 when new. The pin was the highest priced thing I bought, and was probably the item worth the least. But, I have a place for it.

The restaurant china pitcher was only 25 cents. Buying these piece by piece is SO inexpensive.

I also found two very old piano books for 25 cents each. They are fabulous. Except, in the olden days, nobody seemed to care if everything was written in 4+ sharps or flats.

Possibly I will not be finding these for so cheap, as the cashier noted how old they were.

Oh, that little blue stroller was a quarter also. I'm thinking I could pop one of my doll-house babies into it for a Christmas tree decoration. Hopefully I will be able to find a pink or white one for Famke.

I did spend some time on Saturday reading "The Yellow Wallpaper". Since it is all about getting rid of ugly wallpaper, it fit in so nicely to my battle with the wallpaper in my pink bathroom.

Now stop reading if you do not want the book spoiled for you.

The first time I read it, I actually thought it was the husband who made the woman go crazy.

Now that I am older, wiser, and have lived with more than my share of hideous wallpaper, I understand it SO much better.

And if you see me...creeping along the walls of my bathroom...you will understand...it's because of the stinkin' wallpaper!!

It's made me crazy!

Before, During and

Okay. So there is NO after. Yet. Most of the hideous wallpaper is gone, but as you can see, not ALL of it.

I was wondering why my wrist was so sore, and then I realized...all that scraping and picking and peeling at that horrible wallpaper.

So, for the sake of saving my hand I've quit for awhile.

But I'll get back to it. I will. And, when all the paper is off, I will paint it. And quite possibly do something creative with the walls.

The pink toilet almost died. I didn't even want to THINK about that. It happened during the time THGGM was working out of town all weekend.

I could just picture my all pink bathroom with a blue toilet (we've had those, TWICE).

It wasn't a big deal at all. For one dollar and 80 some cents THGGM was able to fix it in a matter of minutes.

Oh, the curtain under the sink I made from a one dollar thrifted sheet. It is pink and white gingham. I'm really getting into this whole pink and white thing. Can you tell?

I've Gone to the Dogs.

Just so you know...

This is Oldest Son's dog, Lily.

They adore each other.

Lily pays absolutely no attention to me. She does not like women.

Then, there is Charley.

Charley is Jonge's puppy.

Charley adores me.

He worships the ground I walk on.

He thinks I can do no wrong.

(i sneak him table scraps.)

I love them both.

I don't think I will ever have a dog again. Mostly because I have these two that I can borrow if I ever get that "I wish I had a dog" feeling.

RANDOM, Random, random

From the Random Front:

Yesterday required that we turn on our heat for the first time. Were it just me, I could have held off. But, my mom, Jonge, and Famke were here also. I must tell you that I LOVE it. No clicking, clanging, banging, smelling. Just, heat! For very good reasons, I have great fear of furnaces. I do believe that this one and I shall be friends.

Today I must catch up on laundry. Only two people live here. Good grief. One could not tell that by looking at my basement floor. This happens every time all four seasons hit in one week.

I prayed a selfish prayer yesterday. That my mom would be good 'for me'. She was. Not so good for my dad, who lost her in a mall again. When she arrived at my house, she was doing very well. We had a great time together. Right up until she asked me if anyone had told ME that her grandparents had died, because no one had told her. I don't argue with her. My great grandmother was dead for years before I was born, and I have no memory of my great grandfather, although I have seen a picture of him holding me. Since they were born in the 1880's I've just sort of figured they were dead. She thought about that some and nodded in agreement. Next thing, it was my dad who had died. I gently reminded her that he was the one who brought her to my house. He must have died after that, she said. If I've learned anything at all from her experience with dementia, it's that all she has ever wanted is for the whole family to be together at one time. She has plans to call us all together to let us know that he's dead.

Once, a folding screen room divider fell on my head. It was a miserable experience, one in which I wrote of at length somewhere on this blog. Anyway...THGGM thought this same screen would work well in the basement hiding the ironing board. (from whom? i wonder. as it is only him and i, and i don't mind looking at it.) It fell on me this morning. Nothing split open and no blood spilled forth, but I was not a happy laundress.

Besides reading a Carol Ryrie Brinks jr. fiction book, I am reading John Holt's "Learning All the Time". I found these lines especially profound this morning: "...organized education operates on the assumption that children learn only when and only what and only because we teach them. This is not true. It is very close to one hundred percent false." I'm all for there being many many choices open to parents for educating their children, but, if I had to do it again I would unschool my kids. Oh, I might still send them to school, but I would not give up the reigns as the one IN CHARGE of their education.

I gave birth to a crop of comedians. I told Oldest Son that I found a great Grandma Moses' book at the thrift store. His comment was "Grandma Moses' mom wrote a book?"

I paid full price for my Susan Branch "Autumn" book. Now I see them in the bookstores for five dollars. I suggest you run right out a get one for yourself. You will be happy that you did. Trust me.

Yesterday, amid all the flurry of a birthday party, THGGM put a bill under my nose. It was a bill saying that our house payment had gone up (are you ready for this?!) FOUR HUNDRED DOLLARS a month. Four hundred dollars? For city taxes. This, of course, is absurd, as we are not responsible for those taxes. And, they were PAID already by the very responsible previous owners. Anyway, THGGM made a very frantic call to our mortgage guy, who quickly assured him that there HAD to have been a mistake. It will be very interesting to find out just where this mistake was made. I know MY heart stopped beating for a few beats as the word 'foreclosure'' swam about in my brain. Can I just say? THGGM did not need this. No. Not this week.

I'll close for now with this, from today's "My Utmost for His Highest":

"Spiritual truth is learned by atmosphere, not by intellectual reasoning. God's Spirit alters the atmosphere of our way of looking at things, and things begin to be possible which never were possible before. Getting into the stride of God means nothing less than union with Himself. It takes a long time to get there, but keep at it. Don't give in because the pain is bad just now, get on with it, and before long you will find you have a new vision and a new purpose."

Thursday with the Greats

My mom came for the day today.

She helped me make a card for Daughter's birthday.

Read books to Jonge and listened to his stories about the big firetruck.

She held Famke, who loves to smile at her great grandma.

When great grandpa came he was sure to get his turn holding her too.

Jonge slept, and missed visiting with Pa.

Famke enjoyed having the greats all to herself.

You can tell by her smile!

Daughter's Birthday

We had a birthday party here tonight. It felt GOOD to celebrate! Although, most of the celebrating was done by Jonge. His daddy had to work both jobs today, but he sent flowers and a balloon!

Jonge enjoyed all of it! But, especially the balloons and the birthday dessert that Pake made. It was a 'moe nummy!' dessert.

Once the dessert kicked in, Jonge was REALLY ready to party. He staged a balloon parade and ran through the house with Pake and Oldest Son, whom he calls "Belly". He wore them out. We saved some of the 'moe nummy' dessert for his daddy.

Daughter is one quarter of a century old. I can hardly believe it.

Famke

Famke turned two months old yesterday.

Were, exactly, does time go?

Everyday a little bit more of her personality shows.

She is SO sweet.

It's Mutual

If Jonge needs cheering, Pake is the one to do it.

This week it is Pake who needs cheering, and Jonge is happy to oblige.

What I'm Reading

I found the Grandma Moses book at my favorite thrift store. It was there for quite sometime. I cannot believe that no one snatched it up. So, I did. I'm finding it to be very interesting reading, and the art work is wonderful.

And, I used my 50% off Michael's coupon to buy the "Felt Wee Folks" book by Salley Mavor.

That is interesting reading also.

I think I'm drawn to her artwork because it reminds me of those Ecuadorian quilts with the scenes of village life stitched on to make a 3D effect.

If I am remembering correctly (that, my friends, is a big "IF") I saw a great display of those quilts at the Museum of Science and Industry a long long time ago. Now I am wondering if it was a permanent display, or the traveling kind.

Anyway, a 'fair trade' shop in Saugatuck has similar artwork for sale. I love it.

That made finding this book all the more fun.

And, even Grandma Moses began by stitching pictures.

I'm reading other stuff too, but we will save that for another day.

Pictures

I spent tonight looking through pictures.

Wishing I had a scanner, so this would look better.

To the left is THGGM with his little brother.

To the right shows him standing in his grandma's back yard. The window above his head and to the right is the window to the room in which he died. Although it would be 20 years before he lived there.

The last picture shows him at the age of 23.

There won't be a funeral. No visitation. THGGM's grandma didn't have one either, so I guess for them, it isn't strange.

It is to me.

I Cannot Think of a Title for This

Thank you for your kind comments to the post below. They are all deeply appreciated by THGGM and me.

What the next few days will be like, we do not know. THGGM's family is extremely dysfunctional. I understand that all families have their dysfunction, but with only three members, the dysfunction stands out, oh so much more.

As much as THGGM's brother drove us nearly insane, even causing us to have to make a quick move to protect our children, he was once a dearly loved little boy.

I first met him when he was five years old and newly transferred to the school where I was a mature sixth grader, in charge of the office. But, with his arrival, extra hands were needed in his kindergarten classroom, so sometimes I helped out during snack time. He was an adorable little boy.

He had white/blond hair and the palest of blue eyes. I had no idea that his brother was the new kid in the sixth grade, because they did not have the same last name. It took me several years before I put that together...

...not until I was in the 10th grade and dating his brother. The cute boy with the white/blond hair and the palest of blue eyes was now pouring buckets of garter snakes on my windshield. And growing marijuana in his backyard. He also asked me to marry him. With a real diamond ring. I held out for his older brother.

I don't think I have ever met anyone as hyperactive as he was. He spent his elementary years riddled with Ritalin. In every sort of trouble one can imagine. Mostly, he could charm his way out of it.

As he grew older, the only one he could still charm was his mother. THGGM saw very early on that to maintain any sort of normal family life for his new family, he would need to separate himself from the insanity.

I could not accept this. It didn't fit with my ideals of what a family 'should' do. So, THGGM made valiant efforts to continue to be the good son.

Eventually it became clear that to continue on in this way was enabling things to spiral downward and was actually causing more harm than good.

You are familiar with the symbol of the 'elephant in the room' that no one talks about? There was not just one elephant. There were herds and herds of elephants.

Any attempt on THGGM's part to try to do anything at all to shine light on the situation was met with a very firm "I'm so glad I have the Lord. I do not know what I would do without the Lord." This actually meant "Shut the damn up! We are not going to talk about this!" It also meant that all that was required of THGGM was that he aid in bailing his brother out of whatever trouble he had gotten himself into.

He was a very interesting person. And we all loved him. That makes it all the sadder. To watch someone you love destroy themselves and to stand by unable to respond was an awful way to live. We lived watching this for 12 years, with only a narrow driveway separating our homes. We watched, and said very little about what was happening with him to our children. But they had eyes and ears.

I remember the day one of our children announced: "When I grow up I want to be just like Uncle S!" Of course, I sputtered out a horrified "WHY?!" The answer was the beginning of many changes in how we responded to the insanity. "Because he lives at home and doesn't have to work. He does whatever he wants all day long." Not quite the definition of a grown-up I wanted my children emulating. We quit ignoring things.

That did not sit well with the elephant herds.

In the early morning hours one Sunday THGGM answered the phone. All I heard was "I'll be right over." He went nextdoor. I got up to see an ambulance pull up. It was another suicide attempt. This one was almost successful. He had cut himself severely while locked in his bedroom. He truly almost did not survive and never lost those hideous jagged scars.

Being the good son THGGM did not want his mother to have to deal with 'the mess'. 'The mess' must be the most untalked about aspect of suicide. While I took our three kids to church, THGGM donned gloves and spent the morning cleaning up his brother's blood. He did a very thorough job. As he went into the basement to deposit blood-soaked sheets and towels into the washing machine, he slipped in a large pool of blood that had seeped through the floor boards. An equally vile mess awaited his cleaning in the basement.

THGGM did have a once in a life time 'deep' talk with his brother. When he was hospitalized. They had so much in common, yet nothing at all in common. Neither of them ever had any sort of relationship with their own father. They talked about this. THGGM tried very hard to express his own faith, and how God had worked tremendous healing in his life. His brother found this all very interesting. But, emphatically stated that he did not believe in God. Satan, yes, as he claimed to have met him. But not God.

I wonder sometimes what life would have been like for his brother had he a father who loved him. His father sent an abortionist to get rid of him before he was born. THGGM remembers that night clearly, occasionally he still has nightmares about it.

It does not appear that his death was by suicide. Years of abusing alcohol and drugs do dastardly things to a body. He went to bed not feeling well and never woke up.

Sadly, death will not take the elephant herds.

He was an adorable white/blond haired little boy with the palest of blue eyes. I wish his life had turned out differently than it did. But...

... you get what you get.

You Get What You Get

We had a little phrase often said in our family: You get what you get.

In general, this meant that if mom (me) were passing out Popsicles and you got an orange one and didn't want orange you would hear the phrase 'You get what you get.' Orange, or nothing, you decide.

The last time I remember hearing this phrase was when my brother-in-law saw my kids with Popsicles and asked for one. One of the kids brought it out to him, but he didn't want that color. I heard my words come out of my kid's mouth. "You get what you get!".

He opted for nothing.

I have no idea why I am remembering this particular phrase at this moment.

This morning we learned that THGGM's brother died in his sleep last night. He was 44. An autopsy will be done on Monday to determine the cause of death. We know nothing more than that.

If you know us, please pray.

Some Things About Me That Aren't Interesting At All

There are only a few games that I like to play: Scrabble, but I do not play to win, I play to beat 300. Double-Fisted Solitaire, because it makes me crazy. For some odd reason, I like knowing that I can get really mad over something as stupid as a card game. I have a key-chain Boggle game I keep in my purse.

There are only a few CD's I like to listen to: I absolutely love Beethoven's 'Moonlight Sonata' and I hate hate hate Bach's 'Adagio', which is what THGGM loves to listen to when he is depressed. What restores his sanity drives me insane. Happily, we are both enjoying the Rod Stewart "The Great American Songbook". Although, I do believe that at some point I will roll down my window and give one the heave-ho, as we are listening to them a lot.

Do other people have songs that they belt out at random times? Is it odd to do that? THGGM and I do a fantastic "Mockingbird". We've been singing it for something like 30 years - just occasionally belt it out. THGGM also does a very good Patsy Cline "Crazy". And, if I do say so myself, I could fool you into thinking that Kate Smith was singing "God Bless America". I've been asked to stop doing that one, and since I value my marriage, I have obliged. Lately though, I've been singing "Just a Cloister Walk with Thee".

It was buy-one-get-one-free for women's clothes at my favorite thrift store this week. I found three pair of pants. Do you think that I could find ANYTHING else? No. I could not. So, I got a black cardigan that doesn't fit me. Someone else must be picking out the good wool for felting. Nary a wool sweater in sight. But, the pants are navy, khaki and olive green and appear to need ironing. THGGM found a suit which looks as if it were tailor made for him, and a very nice sports jacket.

Tonight I got two new magazines. My poor eyesight is starting to dramatically affect my magazine reading. Have you noticed that the pictures are all different sizes? The regular copy is about the size of the font I am typing in now, but the pictures, highlighted boxes and title fonts are all different. And, WHO thought of putting captions inside of the picture? It's an 'on and off' event with the glasses, lay the magazine on my nose, put the magazine on the end table directly under the light and lean into it hoping that I do not caste too much of a shadow on the page... I'm exhausted from what was supposed to be a relaxing evening alone with my magazines.

So, I slide over a few seats to the piano. I can see fairly well by day, but by evening, that little bit of a blur I struggle with braids the staff into interesting twists and turns and the tiny little notes jump and dance across my line of vision. It's as if "Sing-a-long-with-Mitch"s bouncing ball escaped and I cannot follow it. (if you do not know who mitch is, you are not old. if you do, you are.)

Just after I threw away about a dozen Scrabble game boxes I found something interesting to make which requires them. Well, I wasn't going to make what 'they' made, but I was inspired to make something similar and those boxes would have come in awfully handy.

I memorized "The Folks in the Valley" for Jonge when he was a baby. So, for Famke I am memorizing "Over in the Meadow". My memorizing ability is not what it used to be. I can still rhyme pretty well, so Famke gets the ad-lib version. That is, until she can correct me.

THGGM took Jonge for a walk around the block the other day. Jonge appears to be teething, and has been tired lately. Mostly, THGGM carries him around on his shoulders. When they got to the front porch where there is a rocker THGGM ask Jonge "Do you wanna rock?" To which Jonge replied in his breathless-little-boy-way, "YEEASH!". So, THGGM sat down to rock him.
"NO!" he stated emphatically. He did want TO rock, he wanted A rock. So...off they went, looking for rocks.

Where IS Fall?

Today THGGM, Daughter, Famke and I went out for lunch at our favorite apple orchard. Yum. It was very good. But, it felt all wrong. It was HOT. Not just nice and warm, but HOT. We greatly enjoyed our warm pumpkin spice donut and cider, but it just felt weird being hot.

Anyway, I came home with some gourds, tiny white pumpkins and a pumpkin pie pumpkin. I'll have to keep the air on so they don't rot.

I want to put my pumpkin on my front porch, but last Saturday when I went to work I noticed that the street was littered with smashed pumpkins.

Maybe I'll put a pulled grenade in mine. Oh, wait. I don't have any grenades.

Tonight I was resting peacefully in my living room, having just commented to THGGM a few minutes earlier about how QUIET it is here. We are very close to a major intersection, share a side street with a school, yet, it is very quiet. THGGM agreed, and then left the house while I basked in the silence.

He wasn't even gone five minutes when I heard that unmistakable sound of squealing tires, and then a crash. A very loud crash. By the time I made it to the door (i couldn't see it from the window) everything was still again. There were a few large pieces of 'car' still in the road, and three vehicles with people emerging. No one appeared to be injured, and help was there right away.

But, I still feel jarred by it. Disturbed in a strange way.

Thankful that none of the cars were gray.

And all the people walked away.

My Thursday

Someone was happy today!

My mom kept Famke happy for several hours today. They just looked at each other and smiled!