My Monday

I've posted quite a few pictures below of my day today.

I took 170 pictures, because I can. Don't worry. I will not be able to post them all. But, I have tweaked and altered them.

To the right you can see the mail box that I found at the antiques market in Allegan yesterday.

It still needs to be "Judy-ed Up". I'm hoping to have it screwed into the bricks on the breeze-way. I've been looking for one for YEARS now, and this is exactly what I was looking for! A flawed one, so that I could afford it. It has a broken do-hicky. This mail box does remind me of the one my grandma had, but I believe that hers had a little door that opened sideways.

Today I got to play outside with Jonge and Famke. They were absolutely darling. Jonge wanted me to run around the backyard with him, but I told him that it looks weird when I run. He didn't believe me. He insisted that I show him. So, being the loving and doting Beppe that I am, I ran. It looked weird, I'm sure. His comment? "That wasn't TOO bad." I'm never running again.

In the afternoon my sister and I went to the nursing home to visit mom. She is doing very well. My other sister had been there yesterday and said that she was talking quite a bit and seemed happy. We found her to be like that today, too. She IS waiting for someone to come. Of course, we know who. But, she looked VERY good and was full of smiles for us. My dad visited her every day right up until the first of July. In July he went there a few times, but not at all this month. Yet, she waits for him. But not in a sad way, just expectant. We are not telling her that dad has died. She could not remember, and then every time she would hear it, it would be like finding out for the first time.

I have the privilege of watching grand kids every day this week. It's how I'm coping.

I can barely remember July, and now August will be over in just hours.

Truly. Our lives are like a vapor.

Jonge, Famke and Kado

Suddenly, I've developed an extreme liking to sepia toned photos.

Especially on my pictures that are not very crisp.

I still haven't found the time to read the book that came with my camera.

So the sepia tones help when I didn't get a clear shot.

At least that is what I am telling myself.

Scenes from My Monday

Please Say It One More Time

What a GORGEOUS Monday!

I went to Daughter's house for a little while today. Jonge and Famke took me outside to see the sunflowers again. On this glorious day it was not raining.

It was cool. But we like cool.

On occasion I do not fully understand what Jonge is saying.

He does NOT like to repeat himself.

This is the look he gives when he is frustrated with me for not getting it the first time.

There is a little sound that emanates from him as he is giving this look.

It sounds like this:

"mmmmmmmMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmm!"

Fun TImes

THGGM and I did quite a bit of thrift and antique shopping this weekend.

Today we drove a very long way down our street (actually, from end to end). Less than 10 miles west from the southern end of our street is the Allegan County Fair Antiques Market.

It was THE perfect day for wandering around both inside and out (200 booths in and 200 booths out). I wish I'd brought my camera. You would NOT believe how BIG this antiques market is. Unless, of course, you have been there. And, if you have been there, why did you not tell me about it?!

I'll have to update my Simply Thrift blog AGAIN (http://www.simplythrift.blogspot.com/) as I did find something I've been looking for.

As much as I enjoyed the wandering around looking at old stuff I enjoyed the ride there and back. Rural Michigan is so beautiful this time of year. Lots of deer, lots of corn, sunflowers in nearly every garden, and a coyote ran across the road in front of our car.

I had fun. Hope you did too.

Just So You Know

I did NOT forget that Christmas is now LESS than four months away.

Someday, I hope to be able to respond personally to EVERYONE who sent emails or left comments. Wow. It truly means A LOT.

I've never gone through anything like this before. I had NO IDEA what it was like.

How am I doing? I am doing very well, thank you.

I miss my dad VERY much. Since my mom went into the nursing home I had been talking or visiting with my dad every day. What I miss the most are the 8:10 AM phone calls when he would sing me the 'wake up' song.

For a man of 83, he sure had a lot of people at his funeral. We were all very surprised. Of course, we all knew just how wonderful he was in his own extremely quiet way, we just didn't realize how much of an impact he had on other people.

And, I am so very happy to report that I made it through without a migraine. Daughter and Daughter-in-law were not so lucky.

Soon I hope to update my Simply Thrift blog (www.simplythrift.blogspot.com) as thrift retail therapy combined with baby holding has been getting me through this. My dad would approve. Baby holding and bargains always worked for him, too.

But, mostly, it's been the love and caring shown to our family by so very many people. We truly do know crowds of people who know how to 'love one another'.

We are blessed.

And, we know it.

Life Goes On, Thank God

Yes. Life does go on.

Today I played with Jonge, Famke and Kado at their house.

We had a wonderful time.

Even though it was cool and rainy, we did manage to go outside.

They wanted to show me the sunflowers that they planted with daddy.

They also have grapes, tomatoes, squash and watermelon growing in their garden.

I will treasure this particular picture forever.

I'm not exactly sure why.

They just look SO cute! Like regular kids on a damp summer's day.

Can you tell which one had the three hour nap, and which one just could not sleep?

I can.

It's Been Tough on These Guys, Too

Those of you who have been visiting here for awhile know just how much Jonge, Famke and Kado adored Pa, and the feelings were mutual.

Kado, being two months old, will have no memory of Pa. Hopefully, that last picture of the two of them together will be as meaningful to Kado someday, as it was to Pa on the night it was taken.

Famke thought of Pa as her own little audience. "Watch me, Pa!", she would say, and then pause while she thought of something REALLY impressive to do for him. He LOVED her favorite phrase, "I DO IT!", and if any of us tried to aid him in any way these last few weeks, he was quick to quote her and tell us plainly, "I DO IT!".

At the funeral home, Famke could not quite grasp what was going on (actually, neither could i). Together we watched the video that the funeral home had put together. In it was a picture of Daughter, Jonge, Famke and Kado with Pa. She turned from the video, looked over at the casket and said, "C'mon Pa!"

Jonge is having a much more difficult time. Jonge is the age my dad was when he had his first encounter with death. Daughter and Son-in-law have been doing their best to explain death to him. Jonge had seen Pa in the hospital in the past, noticed the addition of oxygen, seen all of the needle marks from blood draws up and down his arms, and refered to my dad as Pa With A Cane. The cane has been passed on to Jonge.

Just a week before my dad died, when we knew that he would never pull out of this one, I asked Jonge and Famke if they would like to talk to Pa on the phone. I told them that Pa could not hear very well and that they would have to talk loudly. They were both excited and eager to talk to him. The call was a success. My dad was thrilled to talk to them. He could hear them both very clearly. I'm glad he could, because they both got to tell him that they loved him.

Monday, Daughter was talking to Jonge about how we were going to go to the funeral home to say good-bye to Pa.

Jonge ask her, "Will we have to say it loud?"

Bye Dad

Today was my dad's funeral.

As far as funerals go, it was lovely.

My dad loved a good funeral, and I do believe that he would have been well pleased with his.

Tonight, THGGM and I drove to the cemetery.

He isn't buried in the same area as this mom and dad and two brothers.

So we drove around looking for a spray of flowers called "Dutch Garden".

Yes. There it is. In section 2A of the Grandville Cemetery.

I have quite a bit of processing to do. I had NO IDEA what this was going to be like. Sad, happy, relief, grief, extreme tiredness - to name a few of the emotions. Hard to pin them down, as they race through one behind another.

I'm sure much of my processing will happen here.

This is the devotional from Oswald Chambers book "My Utmost for His Highest".

It's the reading from the day my dad died.

THIS describes the kind of man my father is.

(click on picture to enlarge)

Again, thank you for all of your kind words in person, in comments and in emails. We have felt the prayers and the good wishes.

Now I'm going to go and have a good cry.

April 3, 1926 - August 21, 2009

My dad passed away peacefully just after 1:00 this afternoon.

My sister and I walked into his room together, and noticed that his breathing was very shallow.

We pulled up chairs.

He never took another breath.

Visiting Dad

Thank you for your many kind and encouraging comments and emails concerning my dad.

We just returned from a lovely 'visit' with him.

He truly is resting comfortably.

The place where he is staying is so beautiful, I'm sure that if my dad were more aware he would think that he had already died and gone to Heaven.

It is that nice.

I'm not exactly sure where the staff hide their wings, but they are all so kind and caring - to all of us.

During the day, when all of those blinds that are visible are opened, there is a lovely view to a wooded area.

Humming birds visit a feeder near his door.

We are encouraged to make ourselves at home here.

When we first arrived tonight, my dad was a bit restless. They call it terminal restlessness, and because of this they do sedate him.

Kado was a bit restless too.

THGGM gently laid Kado on my dad's chest, and immediately they both relaxed. My dad stopped his restless movements, Kado stopped his fussing. They both laid together with the most incredibly peaceful expressions on their faces. It was amazing. One of those moments when you KNOW beyond all doubt that God is holding us in His very capable hands.

I was able to get some very nice pictures that I know will be meaningful to Kado in the future. I have seen a similar picture of me at about Kado's age, resting on a bed with my great grandpa shortly before he died.

It's been a good day.

I Tried to Leave a Message

It appears that besides being a collector of whatever is cheap and strikes my fancy, I am a sentimental collector.

Hence, the telephone.

It reminds me of my grandma.

Hers was a bit different. I do not think that the dialing portion on the one she had was plastic.

But, to hold that receiver in my hand? Oooo. THIS is a telephone.

It doesn't take pictures, it won't vibrate in my purse, it doesn't play a different tune depending on the caller.

No. It rings. And, one picks it up and says "Hello?"

If one talks on it for too long, it's quite possible that ones arm will grow numb and ones ear will hurt.

My grandma has been gone for 24 years.

But, yesterday I picked up my new old phone and called her.

I still know her number.

She didn't answer.

I'd like to think that she is getting ready to greet her son-in-law, my dad.

My grandma died of a heart attack shortly after my mom underwent a mastectomy.

I was recovering from pneumonia and pleuresy which had gone on for weeks.

It was a rough year, as I recall.

My mom had tried to reach her mom all day, but didn't get an answer.

Since she wasn't able to be out and about yet, my mom sent my dad over in the afternoon to check on her.

He found her lying dead on her bedroom floor.

Presently, I'm finding it comforting to think that grandma is picking up a package of Steenstra's Santa Claus cookies and putting on the coffee.

My dad will be there soon.

It Is Tuesday. Again.

Just had to add a picture of Kado and his happy smile.

Today THGGM and I checked my dad into hospice care at a somewhat local facility.

After checking him in, we went back to his house to pick up some pictures to put around his room.

He is in such a lovely place! And, the good news is, he is resting comfortably. We saw that for ourselves twice today.

THGGM had been calling each night to ask the nurses at the hospital how he was doing. Tonight when he called, the hospice nurse assured us that he was still resting comfortably.

I don't see how he can last much longer.

Although we are all very sad, we are also very aware that my dad was born with a severely damaged heart. No one knows how he survived infancy. This problem wasn't detected until ten years ago. He underwent major heart surgery to repair his heart, but in seventy-three years, much damage had been done that could not be repaired.

We all hoped for a few good years. God gave him TEN plus. We are all so very thankful.

Please pray for calmness and peace to prevail to the end.

Let's See.., This Must Still Be Tuesday..

Today I had a lovely visit with my dad. His IV meds are doing their wonders. Of course, this is a short-term fix for a problem with no cure, but we are taking the time we've been given and are going to squeeze as much out of it as we can.

I had planned to stay longer, but he needed to rest and I was getting an odd tell-tale pain behind my eye.

When I arrived home, I noticed so much that needed doing that I immediately set to work attempting to solve other people's problems since I cannot solve my own. I'm weird like that.

I also obsess on my poor cat whenever there is a problem with either of my parents that I cannot possibly worry about, as they would not want me to. In an effort to honor them, I turn to Uncle Barb, my sad old diabetic nearly toothless cat - with fleas.

Uncle Barb was freshly scrubbed yesterday with the nice smelling herbal remedy. It does kill some fleas. Others.., well, I actually saw them scoff. Not even behind my back. Right to my face.

So, since I cannot cure Alzheimer's or congestive heart failure with pulmonary hypertension and a bunch of other odd things - I DID feel up to combating fleas.

Armed with a deep bucket in one arm and a bloodied flea-bitten cat in the other, I set to work in my lovely pink bathroom.

It SEEMED like a good idea at the time. I held dear old Uncle Barb up to his neck in nice warm slightly soapy water.

Now, let me pause here to ask you:

Have you ever seen those clips on TV of caribou running through the snow, migrating to who-knows-where?

This is very similar to the scene I witnessed on my cat.

Seriously. I paused for a moment to take in this strange spectacle. It looked as if the fleas where acting on the belief that if they were to reached the head of this cat a helicopter would pick them up and air-lift them to safety.

It was an ugly scene.

I held him submerged to his neck for at least 30 minutes. I used the shower head which - I wish I would have know before I started - does not drop down far enough to provide good spray on a small animal in a bucket.

Let's stop again so I can ask you:

Have you ever held in one hand a wet cat while it is being eaten alive my marauding fleas and in the other hand a shower sprayer and tried to effectively make contact with the two? Trust me. Don't do it.

Okay. Now where were we? Oh, yes.

Uncle Barb is now warm, well fed and resting comfortable.

Flea drops have been applied to him. The basement and back porch have been flea bombed and tomorrow the rest of the house will be done.

And now I shall go to bed to finish up reading Farmer Boy while wondering how in the world civilization has survived this long without having yet found a way to eradicate the simple cat flea. This seems like it should have been a priority over, say, putting a man on the moon.

But, nobody asked me.

A Teensy Bit Happier Today

What a difference it makes to NOT have a headache.

Anyway.

My dad is improving at the hospital. IV drugs really work their magic on him. It's when he's switched over to the oral meds that the trouble starts.

His doctors are brainstorming.

I fully understand that God is in control. It's just a bit hard to deal with. My mom with a healthy body and a mind that has turned to dust, and

my dad with an extremely sharp mind and a body that is winding down.

So, I'll be trying out this 'one day at a time' thing I've so glibly thrown out to other people. We shall see how that goes.

Today he is doing fine. Got to spend some time with one of his great-grandsons. And the Detroit Tigers played tonight. His life has narrowed, but he makes the best of it.

The pictures of Kado are thrown in for fun. Notice that in the lower picture THGGM's goatee looks like a tiny beard on Kado! Makes me happy!

I'm still sad that I missed Famke's birthday party. I found a lovely pair of red leather shoes for her that squeak. So happy that the hospital gift shop has such great things! THGGM picked out a Dora the Explorer backpack filled with fun stuff too.

Jonge and Famke are both sporting summer colds and actually had a pretty miserable day today.

Last week I found a great tablecloth at the thrift store. It's round, mostly blue flower with blue denim piping and a blue ticking border. Nice match for the kitchen I am dreaming of having (well. the do-able dream. not the over the top it will never happen dream.). The tablecloth was two dollars. It's in perfect condition. That was enough to make me nicely thrilled.

But, there's more!

I also bought the new issue of "Where Women Create". While perusing it, what did I discover, but THAT TABLECLOTH! In a tea room!

Okay. So maybe you don't find that quite so exciting as I do.

Whatever.

I Am Not Happy

Nope. I am not.

Right at this moment I should be at Famke's birthday party. Today she turns TWO.

My plan was to take a bunch of pictures if Famke opening up her presents. And, I wanted to eat Buster Bar dessert. THGGM made it for the party. He's a good Pake.

Instead, I am home all squinty-eyed, migraine-y and confused.

If I'm in the light my head hurts, but if I'm in the dark the neon-northern-lights of migraine show brighter and make me want to throw-up.

Whine. Whine. Whine.

I've been almost asleep for 24 hours now.

Friday my dad moved to a nursing home. Not the one my mom is at. No. I'm sure because that would have made sense, and nothing in my little painfilled life is making sense right now.

So, instead of going to the nursing home in Hudsonville, he had to stop over at one in Wayland. Far far away from here. Not that Hudsonville is actually CLOSE. But, I DO know how to get there.

Yesterday THGGM and I went on a rainy day adventure to find my dad. This is because I had planned my day on Friday around his being moved to Hudsonville. I could have made it there. But, at what seemed to me to be the last minute, there was this change.

THGGM and I found him sitting in a wheelchair in his room staring at the wall. So, I had to explain to him exactly why he wasn't where he thought he was going to be. I had to do this loudly, because there isn't anyway to get him his replacement hearing aids without his going in for an appointment.

He looked pretty good, if not a bit depressed. So, we wheeled him out of the dark room and took him around to see the sites. It's a very nice place. We found a cheerful room to sit in while we watched it rain. And rain some more. Even thunder. Just for effect, I'm sure.

They brought his lunch to him in this nice room, and he certainly did have an appetite. I thought it all smelled a bit salty, but his ticket assured me he was getting the 'no salt added' diet. He should be on an absolutely no salt at all diet, but, what are we going to do?

We stayed for awhile. He really perked up. Didn't seem to mind when we left, as he was ready to get back in bed for a nap.

THGGM was REALLY impressed with this home. I think I know where WE will be living in the future.

The drive home was rainy too. And muggy.

We weren't home long at all before I got a call from the nursing home.

Dad was having difficulty breathing. They didn't feel equipped to handle that, and had an ambulance in route to take him back to the hospital.

Apparently he does very well on the IV diuretic, but the oral kind of the same drug does not work as well.

After a night of being on the IV diuretic, he is again improving. THGGM said he sounded great this morning.

My head hurts.

So thankful that he is improving, but hoping for significant improvements that will keep him with us for many more years to come.

Now I shall go try to decide if I want to take the medication that will knock me out, or keep me awake.

Friday I thought it would be a cool trick if I could be in two places at once. By today, I need to be in three places at once. Famke's party, the hospital and my bed.

Oh, and in all this fuzzy confusedness, I DID get a dress for Youngest Son's wedding!

(see? i have NOT totally lost my ability to look at the bright side.)

Gum

Jonge presented his case very well, so I relented and let him have one piece of bubble gum that he collected at the 4th of July parade.

Famke was napping. Giving a three year old bubble gum is scary enough, so, as he explained it, Famke was in bed so she would not feel sad that she was too little to have bubble gum.

Of all the various expressions that Jonge has, THIS LOOK is my most favorite!

What a Difference Thirty Years Make

These pictures are all from Sunday.

Jonge took this picture of me. He was SO happy that he finally got one that 'looks just like you, Beppe!'

More than anything, I now want to improve my 'tired out old lady look' just to not have him think this is what I look like!

How does this happen? Why, only thirty short years ago I looked positively twenty-one.

Monday I made some comment to Jonge and then remarked that I was weird. His loving response was, "You're not weird, Beppe. Just interesting."

Someday, I am going to get a picture of Kado smiling. He has SUCH a sweet smile!

Just when I think he could not get any sweeter, he does!

Jonge and Famke LOVE to play 'going to work'. Kado and I love it too, because whenever they 'leave' or 'come home' we get kisses, hugs and I love yous.


Kado and my niece's darling little boy are just a few months apart.

He is just four months old and has already had several haircuts and looks just like a little man!

Sunday was a good day for porch sitting.

Today? Not so much. The humidity today brought out a new crop of fleas and we shall be setting off flea bombs very soon.

They do not seem to like me, but THGGM had some rather extreme ideas for getting rid of them, I thought. My suggestion, that he just shave his legs did not go over big.

Let's see..,

In other news, my dad continues to show improvement. When I visited him yesterday he had extremely swollen ankles from having sat up in a chair for too long. I found this shocking, since he has never had that particular symptom before. But, his doctor and cardiologist assured me that he is still moving in the right direction. From the hospital he will have to make a rehab stop at a nursing home. He is SO not happy about that. I'm not convinced that he will be able to live alone anymore, but, that shall remain to be seen.

And, drum roll please, tonight I finished addressing wedding invitations! Of course, Youngest Son still has not gotten the addresses of his friends, so, as his future wife pointed out to me - he may be hand delivering those invitations. She is SO on to him, I see them living a long and happy life together.

Today

Today Daughter went back to work.

Kado is seven weeks old, and thriving!

I've taken MANY pictures of him, hoping to catch him in a smile.

He does that for Jonge and Famke, but those pictures just show the backs of their cute little heads.

He seems to be perfectly happy ALL the time, unless he needs to eat or have his diaper changed.

But for the majority of the day, this is the cute little face I got to stare at.

Jonge and Famke were a wee bit sad to have their mommy go back to work. No crying, just sad eyes, a pouty bottom lip, and a softly spoken "I want mommy!"

My dad is still in the hospital. The doctor says he needs to be there at least a few more days. Every day seems to be an improvement in some area and a set back in another.

Please pray for continued improvement!

And, for happy Happy HAPPY grandkids tomorrow!

A Good Saturday

My Saturday started with good news from the doctor. My dad is responding favorably to the tweaking of his meds.

Youngest Son stopped over and we went out for breakfast. I am a lover of coupons. I have not cooked anything all week. Seriously. I love restaurant coupons.

Next I went thrift shopping. Oh, my! It was such a good day for that at Nice Twice. I've had my eye on this piece for a few weeks now, and today I bought it. I also found a really cool quilt. Weird, how it's the first day of AUGUST, and I've already been under it.

THGGM joined me for some antique shopping too. He didn't find anything. I found a full set of Latin vocabulary cards. Oh! And a deck of children's book 'Authors' cards. Lots of good stuff there, too. But I showed restraint (well. sort of.).

I spent the afternoon at the hospital with my dad. We watched another dog show. Some dogs are shockingly weird-looking. And, we watched two episodes of The Andy Griffith Show. I thought my dad looked awfully tired. But, before I left he perked up and when I left he seemed better. I think he is REALLY enjoying it that the Detroit Tiger games have been going into extra innings. Gives him something to watch that he actually enjoys.

By the time I got home I could have fallen asleep standing up. THGGM pulled another magic coupon from his bag of tricks and off we went, back to the same place we had breakfast. We cannot keep this up. Someday, I am going to have to cook. It's not that I don't know how. And, I even have my dad's car, so that excuse is gone. I just cannot find any remaining brain cells that sense any sort of urgency to make meals.

Although I can't imagine why (haha) my digestive system has been dreadfully cranky lately. So, IMMEDIATELY after dinner, we came home and THGGM finished reading his latest book (Capote's 'In Cold Blood') while I curled up in a ball and rolled around on the floor moaning. Okay. I ALMOST did that.

Once I was feeling better, off we went to work. Vacuuming is such a soothing job. I vacuumed my little heart out. Again, it seemed odd that I vacuumed while wearing a coat on the first day of August. Such a cool summer. May they all be so!

Now, upon arriving home, I did have a major freak-out. This will tell you the condition of my battered emotions. It occurred to me while working that the only phone number the hospital has is mine. So, when I got home, I checked my calls and there was one from the hospital at 9:05. I could not even bear to listen for a message. THGGM, who must be getting tired of coming to my rescue for all of my emotional breakdowns, called the hospital. He talked to my dad's nurse, who said he was doing very well.

Oh, silly me.

That 9:05 call was from the AM. When my dad called this morning to let me know how he was doing.

Presently, I have calmed down. I bought a really nice hardcover "Farmer Boy" today and I am going to read that now that I have finished Anne Bronte's "Agnes Grey". Have I mentioned that I REALLY loved "Agnes Grey"?

Thank you for all of your kind comments and emails. I cannot begin to tell you how much they mean to me.

And for the record, as we KNOW that there IS a record, this is the 2001 post to my "Anybody Home" blog. 2001. Wow. I've been doing this for FIVE years.