I'm having a wonderful time. Really. I am.

(This is a rerun. I am sick today.)

Did you ever wonder what the truly boring do at exciting events?

I will tell you. You will then want to take me along on your next exciting event. But, I will not go, as I will be busy doing boring things that I happen to enjoy. A lot.

At exciting amusement parks, I am the person who will hold the purses, hats and loose change while the exciting people ride the thrilling rides. I will be watching a show, while holding your stuff, a show that usually involves people dressed as animals dancing around on a stage.

When the ride makes you sick, I am the boring person that will wait with you in the restroom. I won't understand when you get back on the ride, but I will still be your friend, and will still hold your paraphernalia.

At the water park, I am the woman standing guard over your deck chairs. I make sure your chocolate doesn't melt in the sun. I wear your watches. I would give my very life if someone tried to take off with your Sony Walkman. Notice me next time you are there. I'm behind the large book. I am having a WONDERFUL time.

I'm the woman in the bookstore at the mall. I'm reading in one of those comfy chairs. Shopping bags are leaning up against my legs. I am the contact point for anyone changing their plans. Oh, and don't hurry back. I'm good doing this for hours at a time. And the bathroom here is clean.

And when you are on a ball team...any kind of ball team. I will be there in the stands. I do not wish to play. Occasionally, if you do something wonderful, I will cheer loudly. If you are treated unfairly, I will sneer and look aghast. Other than those two emotions, I will sit calmly, holding your money, your watch, your earrings and whatever else you thought necessary.

Go ahead. Fly off to Florida. I will stay home and answer the phone, gather in the mail, feed the pets, go out to eat every night, rent videos I have always wanted to see that you did not. And, believe it or not, I am HAPPY! Yes. Do not mistake the look of utter dullness to mean otherwise.

Go out deep into Lake Michigan. Float on your raft. I'll keep an eye on your watch, clothes (i once was called upon to retrieve a shirt from the beak of a sea gull) and all of your snacks. When the sun gets too hot, or the breeze too sandy, I will pull my chair into the woods and risk being eaten alive by biting black flies. But I am fine. I have a heavy bag of books. I have drawing paper and a pencil. I have Dr. Pepper and red licorice. I have a magazine.

Run along. Hike in those woods. I'll be in the nature center watching the slide show about wild flowers, or bats, or the sand dunes. It's interesting. I know I've seen the sand dunes slide show every year for the past decade, but I LOVE it! "Where did all this sand come from", and "Parabolic Dune" are words that speak deeply to some part of my soul. I can't explain it, I just want to watch it again, and again, and again. Now run along, I'll hold your rocks.

I'll hike the mile back to the camp site with the child who has to pee. We will stop in the woods to look for that racoon we saw last night. While I'm here, I'll grab the sun screen you forgot, and get your book to identify that bug you caught. I'll grab the sweatshirts to ward off the chill for your walk back.

Plant me anywhere. Obviosuly, I grow in the shade. I'll watch your stuff. It's okay. Really. I am having the time of my life.

(originally posted on 2/22/05)