Top ten indicators that it is PMS

10 - Everyone is stupid. There are no exceptions.

9 - Everything is too loud. Unless, of course it is too quiet.

8 - There is no chocolate left in the house.

7 - Everything hurts.

6 - Everything smells funny.

5 - I'm cold. No, hot. No, cold. No, hot. Hot. Definitely hot. No. Cold. I'm cold.

4 - I don't know what it is I want. Just get it for me!

3 - I drop stuff. Breakable stuff.

2 - My blood feels itchy.

1 - I have ALL the symptoms of senile dementia - but I can't remember what they are.