A Strange Thing Happened on the Way to the Funny Farm

I could tell you exactly where and when it was, over a year ago, that I realized I was falling head first into that deep abyss called depression.

I could tell you, but I won't.

Like with a migraine, there are several variables that must align just right and WHAM, there I am.

Oh, yes. I dug out my paper with the list of ten things to do to ward it off and dig myself out of it (i'm not knocking this. it's a good list.)

But I thought differently about it.

Quite a bit differently than usual.

I thought that maybe it wasn't something to be avoided. Maybe, just maybe (and i am still not sure about this, so do not try this at home) I should just 'go' with it.

After all, I thought, there are a number of things going on that just happen to be depressing on their own. Compound them, and well, yeah. It's not fun.

Here are just a few:

-My mom's dementia was worsening.

-Youngest Son had grown up and left home.

-An old issue of ours had resurfaced.

-We had to move.

-My hormones were rebelling like an obnoxious teenager.

Now, granted, I am already taking an antidepressant, but not actually FOR depression. This lovely little pill causes weight gain. I knew I could call my doctor, explain to him what was going on and just pop a few more of those lovely little ovals. But, I did not want that. Although, I do still consider it a possible short-term option.

So, I did a lot of thinking. What happens to the person who does not get the 'happy ending book deal' to their story?

Really.

Several years back I was sitting in church when two prayer requests came up. One was from a very old woman whose daughter-in-law was dying. She asked for prayer. We prayed.

The other was from a considerably younger person who knew someone else who was in very serious condition. He asked for prayer. We prayed.

During the week, the first woman died. Much quicker than was even expected.

The second person made a fabulous recovery.

We all rejoiced over the recovery. We praised God. We thanked Him for answered prayer.

We left the old woman sitting there in her grief. The church bulletin mentioned that her daughter-in-law had died. But nothing was said. Nothing.

That gave me much to ponder.

Quite a bit of life IS depressing. I don't intend to wallow in it. But, when it does happen, if all I can do is float along on top of it for a while, I think I shall. If I feel I'm starting to sink into it, I can always link arms with a fellow floater.

It seems I've learned a lot this past year. I don't actually see an immediate end in sight, but sometimes just the simple act of embracing something awful brings greater reward than concentrating on eliminating it.

But, who knows? I could be wrong.

It's not like THAT hasn't happened before.