THGGM comes from a very interesting family, which is putting it mildly.
That he is the person he is today is a glowing example of the grace of God.
For two years before her death we lived next door to THGGM's grandmother. This was wonderful for Oldest Son, as she adored him much as she did THGGM. This was not true of the rest of us. Thankfully, Daughter and Youngest Son have little to no memory of her.
Family dysfunction is nothing new.
THGGM's grandmother only liked sons and grandsons. This might have had something to do with having lost her first baby, a boy, whose booties and silk bonnet lay forever protected in my cedar chest. Her next oldest son died 26 years ago. I remember his funeral clearly, as I was pregnant with Oldest Son, who developed a severe case of the hiccups during the service. The jumping of my stomach caused THGGM and I to cover our laughter by pretending we were overwrought with grief.
The daughters all live on, marching into old age. One, at least, carrying on the trait of not liking girls.
THGGM's grandmother died. Nobody believed she ever would. She lived with congestive heart failure for over thirty years. She continued to rule her family from her grave. One very hot summer day after she died, THGGM was chatting with his mother. She was telling him of the very long list of things she had to accomplish in this heat. One of them was "water the flowers at grandma's grave". He asked her why she didn't just NOT do that one. She looked at him aghast and in horror said "she would KILL me if I didn't go today". THGGM thought this was peculiar, but I'm not so sure she wouldn't have.
Anyway, back to family dysfunction...
THGGM's grandmother finally did die. There was no funeral. She did not want one. But, there was an obituary in the paper.
It read like this "THGGM's Grandmother went to be with her Lord on..."
Well. ONE of the sisters did not like this. She did not agree with it. She was outraged. She called her pastor, who assured her that a woman so mean could not possibly have gone 'to be with her Lord'.
The next day, the Obituary read "THGGM's Grandmother passed away on..."
This sort of sums up the family.
I always like to imagine what must have happened when the Grand Rapids Press arrived in heaven.
"Sally, you were sent here by mistake. Thankfully for all of heaven and eternity, your oldest daughter has brought this to our attention, so you can just go to hell."
Thankfully, her oldest daughter doesn't rule heaven.
The grace of God is truly an amazing thing. No one is worthy of it. No one.
Yet, it is available to everyone. Even if your daughter doesn't think you deserve it.
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9 comments:
It sounds like quite the collection of personalities.
I guess that's the definition of grace: that it's available to those who don't seserve it.
That was a funny story - my husband's family is just as dysfunctional - as you can tell when you read about my brother in law's death and funeral on my blog (he died on the 4th of July this year) Someday we will have to meet and share stories!
Well, join the party! We both come from dysfunctional families. We will face a problem when my dad dies too...somehow any glowing report of his being such a great person would be less than true. However, he has done some good things in his life. Somehow, at least to one brother and I, we hope the other brother will allow us to just put him away in a private graveside service. But as in all things in life, we will do whatever is needed by the "weakest" one, I am sure.
We do understand the living with partiality business too...in our case, though, it applied equally to all our children. I think I suffered much more through it than did our children however. They seem ok with what happened. Just no family tie that should and could have been there.
Thanks for sharing!! And of course, we already can see what kind of grandma you are and will be!! That is the best way to deal with the inequities of our lives...just be sure we don't follow the pattern!!
written with honesty and humour-- my favourite things. I really like the bit about the paper getting to Heaven... et.
brilliant!
So funny.... true to life.... and sad at the same time. People.... what are ya gonna do? :) Blessings, Debra
One day next spring when the snow and ice thaw, you and I need to meet in Fargo, ND, for a loooooong weekend. Mercy, girl, could I tell you some stories about Dear Hubby's family that would curl your toes, HA!!!!! Anyway, I can totally identify with this post. Like the old saying goes, we can pick our friends but family is family. Amen to that. Oh, and when my Dad died?? My younger brother and I wanted something sweet and simple, which is what Dad would've wanted. Then our oldest-sis-in-law stepped in and changed EVERYTHING in his obituary...to the tune of $360, that is, to print it. When she found THAT out...well, that changed her tune pretty fast, haha!
DH and I loved the part about the paper getting to heaven, LOL!
BTW, Judy, are you having trouble uploading pix to blogger. I'm about to pitch a fit!
My husband's family, also highly dysfunctional. They, however, only like girls.
Family dysfunction is SO amusing - if it's not your family. I found it trying and exhausting. It's so much easier to love 'imaginary people' than it is to love the annoying relative variety.
Jill - I had a lot of trouble posting pictures, and then someone told me to empty my 'cache'. It worked! I have NO IDEA what that meant, but I followed the directions and it worked like a charm.
Judy
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