Shrove Tuesday

Random Confessions from my house.

I haven't vacuumed my house since THGGM ordered a new vacuum from Amazon.com. Is it my fault it is taking a looong time for it to get here? No. It is not my fault. Bits and pieces of
'practice cuttings' lay all over my floor. Jonge is getting good with the scissors and can actually cut very well. Famke just enjoys slicing things to bits. It will be a good long time before Kado meets a scissors, I hope. He did have a close shave awhile ago, but that's growing out.

I am angry and have yelled at my television. Have I mentioned lately that I love the service we get from DISH Network? It has been excellent for us. Except that now it no longer carries my favorite local news station. Really all this means is that I feel as if I am on vacation, as the other two local news stations feel foreign to me. Of course, when one feels as if one is on vacation one tends not to worry about things like vacuuming and the resulting flotsam and jetsam all about one. At least that is how it works for this one.

THGGM is now down 25 pounds. This causes me to want to punch him. Which isn't a kind thing to do, so I never would. But we are on the same diet! HOW is this happening for him and not so much for me? Of course I KNOW why this is. But still. It is sooo not fair. Thankfully, I was raised by parents who never led me to believe that life WAS fair, so one would think that after 52 years that would have sunk in. It hasn't, and probably never will.

Lately I've been finding great written music at the thrift stores. This means that I've been sitting in front of the piano more in the past several weeks than I have in the past several years. Jonge and Famke have gotten very good at playing Name That Tune with me. But, I must confess there are other things I need to be doing. Yes. There are. But, how could they recognize the tunes if I didn't practice them? Still. I must confess to spending too much time at the piano.
I don't like to cook. There. It's out. What I do like to do is look at cookbooks. But, taking raw ingredients and turning them into good and healthy things to eat? I'd rather leave that to the professionals. Like those guys at Wendy's who make buy-one-get-one chili for us every Tuesday night. Don't get me wrong, I can cook. I just don't like to. I especially don't like to do the washing up. Somewhere deep inside of me I feel as if a very nice apron clad woman should appear and do it all for me - and with a smile - and maybe even a song (i'd even play the piano for her!). When and if she ever does show up, I've got a pile of GREAT recipe books with the best parts marked with tiny post-its.

Is there more? Why, yes. Remember that BIG clean-up I did in the backyard? I haven't cleaned it up since. Soon our neighbors will be returning from wherever they went to be warm and I will feel all guilty about it. But for now? I'm just whispering words of wisdom, let it be. All the while knowing that I need to get out there and do something about it.

This isn't new, but I had a difficult winter. I suppose it could be called the winter blues, but then I wouldn't know what to call that same feeling in the spring, summer, and fall. Although it is worse in the winter. And since everyone knows that I'm not one to complain, I guess I truly cannot. Complain, that is. Okay. Okay, I'll FORCE myself. Go read the short story "The Machine Stops". I first read this twenty years ago when it was already an old story. Years before all the technical wizardry was in place. Yet I could feel myself in that story even then. So creepy.

I fell behind on laundry. There came a morning when I opened my drawers and necessary things were not there waiting to be chosen. At 52 it isn't cute when one's socks do not match each other. Laundry isn't usually one of my problems, say, like cooking is. But I have to confess that on Friday when my laundry first called, all I did was hope that the apron clad woman who wasn't cooking might be in the basement doing laundry. She wasn't. If she'd ever show up I'd have to fire her for being so inadequate when she isn't here.

I quit writing all of my life's secrets in paper journals years ago. There was a reason for this. Not much ever changed, and I got tired of writing the same stuff over and over and over again. Well, that isn't exactly true. The scenery changed, different characters came and went, huge events happened that I never even bothered to mention. Now I must confess that my blog seems a bit like those old paper journals I quit writing in. I still keep current journals in which I DO still put pen to paper. But mostly they serve as a place to keep doodles, drawings, and notes about things I want to remember. Here I must confess that my blog seems to be following a similar route.

Seriously though, I do not take confessions lightly. I'll leave the deep soul-wrenching ones off of such a public site.

And there I go, continuing on my journey...