This picture is from a C&O Railroad family picnic where my dad won the pie eating contest. The prize was a green Coleman cooler, which I'm sure is still around, somewhere. I'm guessing this would have been in the late 1960's.
Does anyone ever really get used to the loss of someone? It's been five years yet it still seems so unreal to think that he is not here anymore.
I miss him. But the memories are all good, which is truly a gift, and I am thankful.
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Yes, you get used to the loss, somewhat, but not really. My dad died, 84 years old, in 1987. At first I thought almost every day: I must tell dad, I must ask dad, then it became after a few years once a week, till the time came my thoughts were like: what would dad have said, what would dad have enjoyed this. Now my mum died 2 years ago, the same process started all over again, my mum was still thinking like a 50 year old (or 70, or 18) and died 3 weeks before her 106 birthday. I still miss both of them, their photo's of a moment in their life when they looked so happy and content are in our livingroom and a few times a week I am talking to them, asking them advise or apologising for things they would not have given their concent to, liking losing my temper a bit. There is also a photo of my mother in law, who died 2 months after my mum, being demented. We could not find one picture with her smiling or looking happy or content, I guess she was a worrier always trying to do better then she resulted in and that way uncontent with herself. I never ask her anything, because in her eyes I did never good enough, yet, I miss her in strange ways too, more like : Oh, she would not have liked that, should I try to do better? My father in law is gone 10 years now, and I miss the quiet man he was too, like I miss my brother, 9 years my senior and the best friend and comrade I ever had, he is gone for 5 years now, I miss sharing a new sort of apple with him at the moment, his dry comments, his humour, his smiles, his putting me into my place, everything a friend and brother should have I miss. Sometimes I remember each of them with a smile, sometimes I feel the raw edges of loss like the first day. I wish you strength and good memories. DM
The pain does ease, but you will always wish you still had them with you.
(((hugs)))
The experience of my father's death still lies ahead of me. The photo of your father is a precious one - full of vitality, fun, and good humor. I'm sure you have a huge place in your heart reserved for remembering him.
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