A Post in which I Wax Sarcastic

Oh, do please feel sorry for me!

I had to work this morning.

I left at 7:30.

It was -8 degrees F. and I had to walk there.

I don't have a car.

I haven't any boots, gloves, nor a hat.

Poor poor pitiful me, poor poor pitiful me.

When I got there - in actuality it took me less than fifty steps and I stopped to gaze at the beautiful moon - I was wide awake, but would not have noticed it was terribly cold if the weatherman hadn't told me.

Anyway. Before I came to do the job I had to do, I did a quick check to make sure nothing was frozen. Didn't seem to be. Not like at our house, where there is no cold water to the washing machine, only hot. The opposite was the problem, as I could hear the sound of water splashing on carpet. I moved to round up the usual receptacles, only to stand in a wet spot with my thick sock.

Now. It is only 50 steps back home, but now I am rather sure I will feel the cold with a wet sock, and will have to explain the whole story to THGGM, which will take time. So, I proceeded to continue my work whilst walking around in a soggy sock.

As you may have guess, by this time I was not happy. Even less happy was I when a piece of foam became lodged in my vacuum and soon the room filled with the acrid smell of burning rubber. This required me and my soggy sock to go on a hunt for vacuum number two, which wasn't in any spot I have ever left a vacuum. Here I noticed that someone had placed a cardboard box WAY to close to the boiler which occasionally has been known to shoot flames. My only thought upon moving said box was that flames would warm my now frozen foot.

Upon my return with a brand new well functioning vacuum I was able to finish what I set out to do. I felt a sense of irony, as the reason I have this brand new well functioning vacuum is due to it's having survived a fire at the vacuum cleaner store. I swear I heard it say "save me!".

That brings us back to poor poor pitiful me. Slowly retracing my 50 steps. With my coat unzipped, THGGM's gloves unworn, and the only cold spot on my entire body, that frozen foot I'm dragging around with the wet sock.

(Oh, Youngest Son, I know at precisely what times of day I will miss you the most!)