Well, that isn't EXACTLY true. But not telling the truth has been my day today. I did not bare false witness against my neighbor, but I did try to sound all perky and not worried when I told my dad that I wasn't worried about him today. When I was. VERY worried.
All of my ducks for the day were perfectly in a row so that I could devote my afternoon to reading. Reading. Ah, I love reading. It's right up there with 'napping with a baby'. But, I had no baby to nap with today, so reading it was. I'm hurrying to get my book done so it can go back to Youngest Son.
So, I was about to flop down deeply into my chair - the one with the reading lamp shining brightly behind it- when the phone rang.
It was from the nice lady at "Meals on Wheels" who reported that my dad did not leave his cooler out on the step, did not answer the door, and did not answer his phone.
I had a very good idea that he had just forgotten to put it out, but, he has after all had a few strokes and a fall or two in his long-legged life.
What to do? At this time everyone I know would either be at work, on their way to work or having new carpet installed in their basement.
Every morning I do talk to my dad, and this morning was no exception. He was going to lunch with friends as is his habit on Thursdays for as long as I can remember.
I was getting ready to make the mile walk in the rain (if he wasn't there, i would have driven his car back home) when he called. He had gotten my perky little phone message for him to call me when he got home.
He was all apologetic about having forgotten to put out the cooler. I said that I knew he was fine and just out to lunch and that I had assured the "Meals on Wheels" lady that I would follow through for her.
Then I hung up.
I read. I rested. But, I also thought.
I had three teenagers at the same time for a few years.
Never in all those years did I worry as much as I do about my mom and dad. Today I realized exactly why that is.
My kids grew up. They are no longer teenagers.
My parents, on the other hand, will not grow out of this phase.
I never allowed "I forgot" as an excuse for my children.
But my parents?
I have turned into SUCH a liar.
Not worried, my foot.
Anyway...
The silver lining is that I now know that the Senior Meals on Wheels program is a great one, and they do not let any time at all pass before they notify someone when a client hasn't answered the door. I like that.
My dad is not one to shrink back from morbid thought. He reminded me that his friend who delivers for "Meals on Wheels" found a meal recipient dead on the floor.
"Oh, I wasn't worried about THAT,!" I assured him.
No. I wasn't. I was more concerned that he was lying on the floor having had a stroke or that he had fallen and injured himself in some way.
Death doesn't scare me nearly as much as pain.
I remember reading something from, I believe it was, Oswald Chambers where he says not to pray that you will stop worrying, but to STOP worrying.
Oswald died young.
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6 comments:
Judy. I love you.
That is all.
I trust you will comfort me in ten years when I have stopped worrying about my teens and started worrying about my mother.
I beginning to understand the "sandwhich generation" stress that you are describing.
How does one not worry?
That is cool the way they don't wait to contact you.
I wish my mom was only a mile away.
Do you remember Tim Conway's "Little Old Man" character from the Carol Burnett show? And how he shuffled along at a snail's pace? My mom-in-law has Parkinson's and that is how she moves about. She isn't steady on her feet, either. Not that my dad-in-law was capable of helping, being the bedridden invalid he was, but at least there were care givers and Hospice coming by all the time so we had that little bit of comfort knowing if SHE fell or had a diabetic coma incident, help wasn't too long in arriving. Now she's alone, and if she's a long way away from the phone when it rings, it takes her forever to get there. She's given us a few scary moments when none of us have been able to reach her, too. Luckily, two of Dear Hubby's sisters live within a mile of her. And one time when no one could get an answer, one of them rushed over and found her in a diabetic coma. What you said about teens and older parents is so true, Judy. It's still so soon after the funeral, but I'm just hoping and praying she'll sell their 'farm' and get into some kind of assisted-living facility. She's so social and not in need of constant care yet, but I don't foresee it being too long before she does.
"My parents will not grow out of this phase"...I can't think of a more descriptive or truer statement - nor a clearer reason for the stress of those caring for them. It's almost at times, a feeling of hopelessness ~ I know, I've been there.
It's the inablility to "fix" their declining health that is so hard to accept, yet it is the cycle of life. Isn't it amazing how knowing how something works, doesn't make it any easier?
Keep leaning on God - your doing a great thing and being a wonderful daughter.
Sobering thoughts, worrying about one's parents and how they'll "not grow out of this phase." Thank God for programs like Meals on Wheels. It helps a little bit, anyway. Oh, dear, just when I thought worrying about my teens was the worst it would get! Keeping you in my prayers, Judy.
good timing on this piece of writing, Judy. And you know, you do write so well, its such a pleasurable wonder to read.
My dad is in the same category now. He has become a nagging worry, but one has to play the game of treating him with the respect that a dad deserves. He doesnèt know what the stroke took from him. I haven't really worked out a way to write about it because so many people around here read now, and many know my dad. I don't want to disrespect his privacy.
Judy, you are a blessing. no matter how busy I get, I squeeze in a visit to your house.
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