I would have just stayed in bed all day. BUT, no. There were things that needed doing. Today was THAT DAY when I hoped to get caught up on things that I had paid absolutely no attention to since, oh, I'd say about June.
And, I actually felt quite happy to do them! After an early morning mug of coffee and a 20 minute stay in front of the TV (i like my dvr) watching "Less Than Perfect" I was ready to tackle it all.
I moved furniture, lugged books around, moved stuff, rearranged, dusted a few things and then, went to empty the trash.
That is when the 'accident' occurred. I was adding the bathroom trash into a bigger trash bag when I fumbled (fumbling happens to me a lot) the bag and a rather large amount of trash fell into the toilet. My pretty pink toilet. Not even hesitating (or swearing) I reached in and grabbed what I thought was everything that needed grabbing. Then, I flushed the rest.
I should NOT have done that.
No. I should NOT have.
If you ever find your self in this position, don't flush. It is NOT the right thing to do.
Above you will find pictures of what I managed to do, while water poured from the pretty pink toilet all over my nice clean toes. And, everything else. What is it about water seeking it's own level? Why wouldn't it just stop because I yelled "Stop doing that!".
I feel like Joan Crawford when it comes to wire coat hangers, but I did happen to have one, and it happened to be in the bathroom. While holding up that doo-hickey in the back of the toilet I was able to stop the water with one hand (no. there is NOT a shut-off knob on this toilet - the OTHER two toilets have them but not the pretty pink one.) and untwist the wire coat hanger with the other.
Although, before my eyes landed on the wire coat hanger I did try jamming some pretty pink pitchers, cups and even an angel hugging a lamb under the doo-hickey. Nothing worked. (the water runs really fast into the pretty pink toilet. not sure why. no other water in that bathroom runs fast. hmm. much to ponder. later.) Once I got the hanger under the doo-hickey I still didn't have anything to hook it too. I do not like standing in water while trying to think. My best thinking happens when there is not a crisis and my feet are dry.
By then I was starting to think that maybe the problem wasn't only that the water was still running, but quite possibly the problem was that the lower doo-hickey wasn't closing (answer me this. with which hand would you have tried to find that out? oh, well. whatever.) Toilets are full of little unnamed doo-hickeys. Have you noticed that?
Anyway.., I saw that the cord to the blinds would reach, but I still didn't know what to tie it all to, or even if that would work. Just so you know, those little beads that hang on the end of the cords? Those are handy little beads. I looped the cord through the hanger and finagled it until the beads caught on some old curtain rod hook that I used to wish weren't there.
Listen? Do you NOT hear the sound of running, splashing, gurgling water? Neither did I!
This finally gave me time to grab a towel (why do i only keep one towel in there?) and happily skip down to the basement, all the time giddy that I actually REMEMBER how to shut the water off to the pretty pink bathroom (it pays to ask.). The happy skipping ended when I opened the door only to find out what level the water had sought. Oh, well. Just empty boxes. A lot of empty boxes. A lot of WET empty boxes.
Underneath the waterpipe knobs was an open step ladder. I stood on it, reached the knobs, said aloud; Right-y tight-y, left-y loose-y - grabbed more towels and ran back upstairs, amazed that I did not slip in any level seeking water.
Presently, I THINK I have the problem solved. Just in case, I am NOT turning the water back on until there are actually TWO people in this house. One in front of the pretty pink toilet, and one in the basement under it. That seems wise.
And it would also be wise of me to remember that if I already have my arm elbow-deep in a toilet, I might as well just grab EVERYTHING in reach and not assume that the thing that looked like a kleenex actually IS just a kleenex. Because, it wasn't.
For the record (we have established that there IS a record) I am now caught up on laundry. I haven't been able to say this since, oh, probably some year that started with a 19, or, at the very least, ended in 08.
I want to lay down. For a very loooong time.
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5 comments:
Oh this is the funniest thing I have seen in a while.
I can appreciate it so much because my dishwasher recently just started spewing water all over for no reason and would not turn off. I went into brain lock and couldn't even think. Had to call my husband and have him tell me how to turn off the water.
So kudos on your quick thinking and on your creative solution. You did good! You deserve a month of good things now! :-)
Tina (who deleted the first version of this comment to edit slightly :-))
Oh no! But I'm glad you handled it with humor, which is more than I would have. Good for you. Blessings, Debra
Oh dear. I am so sorry!
Even sorrier because I started laughing here: "If you ever find your self in this position, don't flush. It is NOT the right thing to do."
And then some more here: "(the water runs really fast into the pretty pink toilet. not sure why. no other water in that bathroom runs fast. hmm. much to ponder. later.)"
And gave up trying not to laugh here:
"My best thinking happens when there is not a crisis and my feet are dry."
Your post's labels are just the icing on the cake. You poor dear. I hope your feet are dry now?
Now, this is the same kind of dilemmas that happen to ME! And I thought I was alone in the world, ha! My great 'rescuer' is duct tape. I use it for everything. You should see the pipes under the kitchen sink!
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