I thought I did, but not yet.
I still feel as if I need to ask someone if I want to pick a flower, or something.
THGGM is missing his porch swing. It's sitting outside the breeze-way, but he hasn't found the studs to hang it yet.
Tonight, the strangely different ways that THGGM and I cope with stress are apparent.
He is watching 'So You Think You Can Dance'. He has them all on the DVR, and it is unending.
I don't 'get' dancing. If he thinks there is something really great, he will call me in to watch it.
I watch. Nod my head, and say something profound, like 'cool!' But I don't get it.
He doesn't get me.
He actually left his viewing to see who was in the kitchen with me.
No one.
I deal with stress in totally different ways than he does.
I was listening to 'The Lord's Prayer' being read in Frisian. Over and over.
Sometimes, it's just nice to hear a voice that sounds like grandpa. Both of them.
Then, in some odd search I was on, I found a tiny bit of 'Meike and Nina' singing The Windmill song in Dutch. My high school twin friends, John and Anna had this album. Now I want to order it. Except, they sing terribly. I cannot believe they weren't drug out and shot. But, I'm longing for all things old and familiar...
Now it seems that I should ask someone if it's okay for me to go to bed.
I'm tired. My head is throbbing.
My mom is coming tomorrow. I'm not sure if I should tell her that her identical twin sister was just diagnosed with Alzheimer's. Would she remember?
Life.
It's just so daily.
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7 comments:
We just finished watching. The talent and skills are amazing.
Oh, honey...Life does go on, doesn't it? Some of the daily doses just happen to be a little more bitter than others. How tragic about your mom's sister...I wonder if that happens with most identical twins, if one's diagnosed with Alzheimer's the other one most likely will get it too?? I'm so happy to read the little munchkin is home and doing much better. God still answers prayers, doesn't He? Good interspersed with not-so-good...one day at a time, dear Judy. That's all we can do. ((((((HUG)))))))
As you continue to decorate the rooms, in your style, the house will become your home.
Years ago, we made the mistake of buying a home that was owned by a couple who had been killed in a plane crash. We bought the house furnished. It was beautiful, but I lived there for nearly five years, and it never became my house.
You need to be able to make lots of changes, and surround yourself with the things you love. It will happen!
With everythig that is happening in your live, now, it must seem a little overwhelming.
Take your time, with the decorating, and enjoy those babies. They won't remain babies very long, but the house will still be there, and will still be
"evolving".
When I was a student at RBC all those many years ago, I had a professor who always told this story to the freshmen class.
"Every night I would drive west on Michigan Street. I would come to the top of the hill and look down the street across the valley to the hills on the other side where my home is. All I would see would be red traffic lights. I always wondered how I would ever be able to drive through all those red lights and get home. However, as I drove I found that I only had to pass one light at a time.
So Freshmen when your school load seems to be overwhelming, remember you take your tasks one at a time."
Now I doubt that I wrote it as well as he could tell it. And I might have the wrong street. However, I have tried to take my life one traffic light at a time.
Best wishes.
I'm sorry to read your not feeling so good...hope all is better today. I totally understand about your new house not feeling like home yet. Home is made from memories and familiarity - that takes a little time. This will be the only Beppe's house little Famke knows, she will start the memories and help you establish that feeling you're longing for.
I'm also so sorry to hear of your Aunt's dianosis. My mother is one of 7 siblings - everyone except one who passed away early have had that same terrible fate. All have or had alzheimers. Truly - I am concerned for my own old age. My prayers go out to you and your family.
Well, I'm so sorry for being such a "latenick" but CONGRATULATIONS on the new grandbaby!!!!! I'm so happy for you! She is just adorable! I finally, just today managed to get on the computer for more than just checking my email, and am already a week late in giving you my congrats. So sorry~
xx
do you ever look around and sort of think to yourself with some wonder... one day this will feel like my home?! I remember the first night at our first home. I was watching tv, feeling like I'd just invaded someone's home, and knowing that I'd walk up those stranger's stairs and go to sleep in their bedroom.
weird.
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