(sigh)

In one hour I will be leaving for a meeting at the nursing home where my mom lives.

Weird, how things happen.

I feel sick to my stomach, like I want to vomit. This is something that has plagued me all my life. Something in the least bit nerve wracking happens, and I need to throw-up. Or, worse.

So, I am thinking about this as I apply makeup under my eyes to try to hide the deep dark circles making their home there, I hear my mom's voice from the past...

"It will be fine. Things always work out. You won't throw...I'LL BE RIGHT BACK! DON'T MOVE."

I should just move through my life with a bucket around my neck.

Thank you all for your kind words and prayers.

Again, pray for a deep abiding peace for my mom. And for a band of angels to guard her soul from the ravaging effects of dementia.

UPDATE:

I'm back home. Things went very well. Mom's medication has been adjusted and although my dad said that he saw a bad episode of aggression on Tuesday, they assured me that she responds well to the medication she is being given when she gets that way. Apparently, they feel that she is adjusting very well. She has lost a lot of weight, so a nutritionist was also on hand. Losing weight slowly will be a good thing for her, and may be a result of her diabetes being under control. The unit coordinator said that we may call at any time to ask for an update. This should help my dad on those days he has left when she is upset, and then all night he lays awake feeling bad for her. A call, even at 3 AM, could let him know that she is fine and fast asleep.

There was a memorial service going on in the fellowship hall. The administrator of the home was singing a solo of "It Is Well with My Soul". Mom was singing quietly along with him. She had that look of it being well with her soul. May it always be so.

Just before we turned off the highway I hit a patch of 'plow crud' and slid. Thankfully, traffic stops WAAAY back due to a railroad track. That took the fear of the meeting out of me. I arrived calm, cool and collected. Not so sure about my dad... I'll have to see if he lets me drive next time.